You don’t try to bite your hairdresser

You don’t come in with mud, sticks, sap, gum, burrs, tar or nettles in your hair

Your hairdresser doesn’t give you a pedicure and manicure

You don’t wriggle, jump or shake, while being worked on with sharp scissors or clippers

Your hairdresser doesn’t try to hide your flaws through creative grooming

You don’t lick your hairdressers face while she’s trying to do your hair

You don’t try to bite your hairdresser

Your hairdresser doesn’t treat skin problems

Your hairdresser doesn’t have to hold you with one hand while scissoring with the other

You don’t cock your leg on the furniture

Your hairdresser doesn’t clean your ears

Fleas!

Asking your hairdresser to shave your bum and bits will get you slapped

Your wash and blow-dry takes about 15-20 minutes, your dog’s hair takes much longer

Drying your hair doesn’t create a giant cloud of fluffy, fuzzy hair that takes a week to clean up

Your hairdresser would never wash your bum